Pyramids

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

"Ibid you already know."

-- More Discworld philosophers (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn't climb out of one.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

There was not a lot that could be done to make Morpork a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)

- "Therefore I will have dinner sent in," said the priest. "It will be
roast chicken."
- "I hate chicken."
Dios smiled. "No sire. On wednesdays the King always enjoys chicken, sire."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Pyramids)