The Hanover International Hotel, Hinckley, Leicestershire 16th - 19th August 2002
Friday 16th August
20:00 - 21:00 Opening Ceremony (The Dysk)
The spectacular grand opening of the Convention.
Your first chance to meet the Convention Committee and our guests.
22:00 - 23:00 Bedtime Stories (The Dysk)
Terry sends us off to bed having read from his own stories. Are you sitting
comfortably..?
15:00 - 16:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION A Trolls Guide to Conventions (The Cavern)
First time to a Discworld Convention? We were all newcomers once, and the
Troll's Guide is here for you. Rerun on Saturday morning for your convenience.
17:00 - 19:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Maskerade Parade Rehearsals (The Cavern)
Practice session for those entering (or planning on entering the Maskerade Parade
on Saturday night. Bring along any props, script or music that you will be using
during your performance (not your costume), Those wishing to make a costume
at the Convention can do so at the Seamstresses Guild.
19:00 - 20:00 Acting Masterclass (The Cavern)
Stephen Briggs is on hand to impart his unique theatrical knowledge -. Come and
learn from the master himself.
19:00 - 20:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Balloon Modelling (Treacle Mines)
Expect to see all sorts of Friendly creatures and objects brought to life through
the art of balloon modelling.
14:00 - 17:00 Hotel Orientation (Djinn Palace)
This item is designed to familiarise you with the Hotel and the areas that the
Convention occupies within it. After you have registered and checked in, feel free
to wander around and get your bearings. Details of how to start are available
from Registration. Recommended for everyone.
17:00 - 18:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Discworld National Anthems (Djinn Palace)
"National anthems all have the same second verse, which goes 'nur... hnur,..
rnur... nur nor. hnur... nLir... nur, hnut' at some length, until everyone
remembers the last line of the first verse and sings it as loudly as they can." Help
prove this theory.
18:00 - 19:00 Some of My Favourites (Djinn Palace)
Some of our guests select their favourite passages from both Fantasy and
conventional literature and share them with the audience. Bring along your
favourite piece and join in.
19:00 - 20:00 Discworld GURPS (Djinn Palace)
Hosted by Phil Masters. This is your opportunity to find out about the unique
gaming system with a Discworld twist. All levels welcome.
21:00- 22:00 introduction to Discworld Theatre (Djinn Palace)
All the Disc's a stage. All aspiring thespians hoping to be a part of the production of The Sea and the
Little Fishes, gracing our stage on Monday, will be required to attend this
introductory session, [Note: all parts have been filled in advance, but all who'd
like to help are very welcome] This is also the place to get involved in our
Discworld Revue.
17:00 18:00 General Gopher Briefing (Treacle Mines)
This is where the Gopher King, Gopherus Maximus, gets to tell you a few things
about how it's all going to work and what'll be expected of you throughout the
weekend.
Refer to Item 12. Experience has shown that we will require specialist Gophers to
help out with some of the more intricate aspects of the Programme. First Aiders,
Maskerade Gophers, and those with other unique skills to offer should attend.
21:00 23:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Paint-Your-Own (Treacle Mines)
We are proud to present Paint-Your-Own sessions, three unique Fool's Guild Eggs
are available for you to buy and paint. Paint and brushes will be available, along
with some experts who will be able to assist in the techniques required.
17:00 - 19:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Small Gods Activities (Small Gods)
Various fun activities aimed at our younger attendees. Parents will need to ensure
that their children are supervised.
14:00 - 20:00 Thud Demonstration & Practice Session (Koom Valley Lounge)
Experience the wonder of Discworld's newest board game, and learn how to play.
This session is open to allcomers, novice and expert alike. Those wishing to take
part in the International Thud Tournament should attend.
16:00 - 20:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Gaming: Advanced Dungeons & Dragons (War Room)
A room dedicated to all types of fantasy gaming. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons
targeted at various levels of game experience.
17:00 - 20:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Chaos Costuming (Seamstresses' Guild)
This event will enable you to create a costume for the Maskerade Parade, for the
Vampire Ball, or simply for wearing around the Hotel. If you are new to
costuming, come along and learn from Teddy, who has many years' experience of
the art.
10:00 - 20:00 Registration (The Hub)
Roll up, roll opt Get it all here. Registration should be the first thing you do. If
you've not already done so, get yourself to the Registration Desk.
18:00 - 19:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Paul Kidby Masterclass (Kaffee Klatch)
Pick up some tips and new skills from one of the most impressive Discworld
artists. [Note: space limited]
21:00 - 22:00 The Paul Kidby Interview (The Cavern)
Our resident thespian interviews one of our resident artists. Stephen Briggs finds
out all about Paul Kidby.
Saturday 17th August
10:00 - 11:00 The Stephen Briggs Interview (The Dysk)
An interview with Discworld's favourite playwright and entrepreneur. Find out
more about our very own CMOT Dibbler.
11:00- 12:00 Slave Auction (The Cavern)
A different twist on the usual charity auction. Here you can bid for an hour of
someone's time. All proceeds to Convention charities.
12:00- 13:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Who Wants to be a Discworld Millionaire (The Dysk)
Pit your wits against your worthy opponents for the highest prize on the Disc.
13:00 - 15:00 The Unseen University Lecture (The Dysk)
Authors Jack Cohen and Ian Stewart invite you to discuss various intelligent
and/or scientific matters. Learn the exotic secrets of mathematics and biology
from the experts.
15:00 - 16:00 The Wyrdest Link (The Dysk)
Discworld's version of the backstabbing quiz show is brought to life. Contestants
drawn from the audience will take part.
16:00 - 17:00 Guest of Honour Interview (The Dysk)
That nice Mr Pratchett is invited to Room 101 hosted by Chairman Paul A Rood.
Find out Terry's pet hates, and perhaps help Paul save a few from oblivion.
17:00 - 18:00 A Tribute to Josh Kirby (The Dysk)
A celebration of Josh's life and work, including contributions from Terry, Paul
Kidby, and others. The audience will also be invited to share their memories.
20:00 - 22:00 Maskerade Parade (The Dysk)
Terry has always been impressed by the quality of entrants in the Convention's
Maskerades - "The standard of costuming is astonishing... we always get several
costumes that wouldn't disgrace a Worldcon stage." Terry will present the Silver
Discworld to the Best In Show entrant.
NOTE: No flash photography will be permitted during the Maskerade Parade for
safety reasons.
10:00 - 11:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION The Great Hedgehog Race (The Cavern)
Using only the contents of a cardboard box which will be supplied to you on the
first day of the event, you will be required to design and build a hedgehog. This is
a team event culminating in a finale on the Sunday.
12:00 - 13:00 Clarecraft Presents... (The Cavern)
A presentation by the company responsible for bringing Discworld characters into
physical form.
13:00 - 14:00 Formulate an Evil Plan (The Cavern)
Think you could rule Ankh-Morpork? Take over the Agatean Empire? Here's your
chance to devise an Evil Plan for Domination.
14:00 - 15:00 Discworld Fandom (The Cavern)
AKA the bit where some fans (who apparently have nothing better to do) write
regular information about the Discworld that other fans may find entertaining.
15:00 - 16:00 Speculation Panel (The Cavern)
Get together with other imaginative Discworld fans and spend a happy hour
indulging in (you guessed it) speculation about where plotlines could go and what
might happen with your favourite character.
16:00 - 17:00 Ptraci's Bellybounclng Bonanza (The Cavern)
Need we say more? Ogle or be ogled at. Chris Ward leads this fun beginners'
guide to an ever-popular and sensuous activity.
18:00 - 19:00 Aphrodisiac Recipes (The Cavern)
Tina Hannan (co-author of Nanny Ogg's Cookbook) leads this culinary experience,
talking you through some of Nanny Ogg's more... potent recipes.
19:00 - 20:00 Meet the Publishers (The Cavern)
Quiz the publishers about their professional activities, and get some tips about
entering the publishing world.
22:00 - 00:00 Maskerade Photo Call (The Cavern)
Your chance to get photographs of all those involved in this spectacular event.
08:00 -0 9:00 (EVERY MORNING) Breakfast with the Committee (Djinn Palace)
This is your opportunity to raise any Convention related suggestions, questions or
issues with the hard-working Committee. Written comments can also be
deposited at Ops throughout the Convention.
09:00- 11:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Slaughterthon (Djinn Palace)
Do you aspire to be a skilled member of one of Ankh-Morpork's most exclusive -
and best-dressed - guilds? Hopeful trainees should apply to Keith Kenny who will
guide you through the necessary assignments for the weekend.
12:00 - 14:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Juggling Workshop (Djinn Palace)
A workshop to teach you how to juggle with three balls. There will also be rings
and clubs for the more confident juggling students.
14:00 - 15:00 Casting a Line (Djinn Palace)
When Hollywood finally tires of Harry Potter, and decides to make the first
Discworld movie, who should play Rincewind? Help decide the cast of the ultimate
Discworld film.
15:00 - 16:00 Isis Presents. (Djinn Palace)
An insight into the complex task of transferring Terry's written word to
unabridged audio masterpieces. Join Peter Johnson of Isis Publishing to find out.
16:00 - 17:00 Discworld Artists (Djinn Palace)
How do you take another persons ideas and creations and bring them to life? We
ask those who have successfully transferred Discworld into art.
17:00 - 19:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Writing Workshop (Djinn Palace)
Join experienced authors Diane Duane and Peter Morwood for advice about how
best to transfer your imagination to the written word. [Note: first session
designed for all! second session aimed at people who really need technical
writing/critiquing advice]
19:00 - 20:00 What Is AFP? (Djinn Palace)
Inhabitants of the newsgroup alt.fan.pratchett try to explain to everyone who
hasn't got an Internet connection just how Pratchett fandom has evolved on the
'Net.
20:00 - 21:00 There were These Three Wizards in a Room... (Djinn Palace)
Our subject: the depiction of wizards in literature, film and theatre. How has the
legacy of Tolkien shaped the way we view magic? What makes Discworld
different?
20:00 - 00:00 AFP's 10th Birthday Party (Treacle Mines)
This will be the spectacular centrepiece of the worldwide, year-long celebrations
of online Discworld fandom's 10th anniversary.
13:00 - 15:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Painting Demonstration by Clarecraft (Treacle Mines)
See how the talented painters from UK gift-producers Clarecraft turn blank
figurines into lifelike portrayals of our favourite characters.
15:00 - 17:00 Breed Your Own Swamp Dragon (Treacle Mines)
Discworld's most hazardous domestic pet is brought to the Discworld convention.
Help breed a new strain of cuddly incendiary devices.
17:00 - 19:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Sculpting Workshop (Treacle Mines)
Mark Ayling imparts his knowledge and guides you through your first steps on the
path to becoming sculptors. Those wishing to take part should wear appropriate
clothes - i.e. not your best attire!
10:00 - 11:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Kaffee Klatch with Paul Kidby (Kaffee Klatch)
If you're one of the lucky several, it's is an event where you'll get to chat with
your favourite Discworld celebrity in an intimate setting. Check your membership
pack for full Klatch instructions.
11:00 - 12:00 Kaffee Klatch with Cohen & Stewart (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
12:00 - 13:00 Kaffee Klatch with Terry Pratchett (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
13:00 - 14:00 Kaffee Klatch with Colin Smythe (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
14:00 - 15:00 Kaffee Klatch with Stephen Briggs (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
15:00 - 16:00 Kaffee Klatch with Bernard Pearson (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
17:00 - 18:00 Kaffee Klatch with Jay Hurst (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
09:00 - 13:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION International Thud Tournament (Koom Valley Lounge)
After the success of the National Championship, the first ever International Thud
Tournament will be held during the Discworld Convention 2002. Remember the
complete novice will have as much chance as the seasoned Thudsman in winning
our Grand Prize, the Silver Thud Set & Mahogany Board. Mr Pratchett will be in
attendance and awarding the special prize mentioned above.
13:00 - 15:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Gaming: Thud (Koom Valley Lounge)
Hone your newfound skills by pitting yourself against other Convention members
in the Thud arena. This is informal gaming, so please feel free to come and go as
the urge takes you.
11:00 - 15:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Gaming: Discworld GURPS (War Room)
Join like-minded individuals and indulge your role playing urges. This is an
informal event - feel free to drop in and set up your own game.
14:00 - 16:00 AND ONGOING THROUGHOUT CONVENTION Signing Session (The Hub)
A chance to have our guests sign your books and other Discworld memorabilia.
Be prepared for lengthy queues. A ticketing system will be in operation. 2 item
limit per person; queue as often as you like.
18:00 - 21:00 Leonard of Quirms Aerial Challenge (The Hub)
Are you able to fashion aerodynamically impressive objects from old receipts and
toilet rolls? Come to the Hub and pit your skills against other aeronautical types.
11:00 - 11:50 Paul Kidby Slide Show (The Dysk)
Visual delights from one of the most popular Discworld artists.
Sunday 18th August
10:00 -12:00 Fencing Masterclass (The Dysk)
Sample the work of the apprentice assassin, as taught by Guild expert Madame
Les Deux Epees. Protective clothing will be available, but please wear a long-
sleeved top and loose trousers if you wish to participate.
14:00- 16:00 Charity Auction (The Dysk)
Many items, some of great value, will be auctioned under the benevolent
dictatorship of the Cunning Artificer. All proceeds will go to the Convention's
charities. In order to place bids, you must have your bidding paddle with you.
17:00 - 18:00 Orangutan Foundation Presentation (Djinn Palace)
A presentation about the Convention's main charity.
19:00 - 20:00 Pre-Dinner Cocktails served In the Hub (The Dysk, The Hub)
Those with tickets for the Vampire Bell are invited to congregate at the Hub
where Igors will be serving aperitifs, Please bring your ticket with you to claim
your cocktail.
20:00 - 00:00 Vampire Ball (The Dysk)
The Count de Magpyr would like you to be his dinner.. guest. This event is only
open to those already possessing a personal invitation from the Count, which
must be presented on arrival.
22:00 - 00:00 Create Your Own Religion (The Cavern)
This may be your only chance to create a galaxy spanning religion which will be
talked about for thousands of seconds to come!
14:00 - 16:00 The Unseen University Lecture (Part II) (The Cavern)
Refer to Item 23 - this is the second instalment in the fascinating look into
scientific matters on Discworld.
15:00 - 17:00 Music from the Discworld (The Cavern)
Paul Weir scored the background music for the Discworld video games. He'll lead
a discussion with examples on creating Discworld music.
17:00 - 18:00 The Colin Smythe Interview (The Cavern)
Watch Terry's agent being questioned about the complexities of managing the
affairs of Britain's best-selling fiction author.
18:00 - 20:00 Discworld Party Games (The Cavern)
Reclaim your childhood with Tina 'Nanny Ogg's Cookbook' Hannan. Musical
Chairs, Pass the Parcel, Sardines, balloons and other fun and games.
21:00 - 00:00 Gambler's Guild Casino & Disco (The Cavern)
Get out those dancin' shoes and gamblin' fingers. Relax and dance the night away
in true cheesy disco style (open to all Convention members) and try your luck in
our Casino and see how many Ankh-Morpork dollars you can get your hands on.
09:00 - 10:00 Religious Worship - Church of Om (Djinn Palace)
Details are as yet unconfirmed but the Church of Om have asked special
permission to perform a ceremony for the devout (and not so devout) who will be
itching to pray and chant by Sunday morning.
13:00 - 14:00 Discworld in Other Media (Djinn Palace)
Plenty of people have managed to translate the Discworld experience into other
media. Join these artists for a backstage look at their creation processes.
14:00 - 16:00 Join the Watch! (Djinn Palace)
Sign up for the Watch today. All species welcome. Honesty optional.
Clarecraft advisers are on hand to explain how to invest your money into brightly
painted collectables. Earlier editions and discontinued models will be appraised in
an Antiques Roadshow fashion.
16:00 - 17:00 Thoggs Masterclass (Djinn Palace)
Dave Langford presents the worst gaffes of fantasy and SF writing - dreadful
lines and comically awful phrases from published fiction.
18:00 - 19:00 Small Gods Present. (Djinn Palace)
Presentation by the younger members of the Convention, showing what they've
been up to so far.
19:00 - 22:00 Toast & Jam
Discworld fandom seems to include large numbers of inveterate musicians, and
there are no doubt some fresh ones as well! So bring your instruments and be
prepared to jam well into the night.
10:00 - 11:00 Kaffee Watch with Trevor Truran (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
11:00 - 12:00 Kaffee Klatch with Paul Kidby (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
12:00 - 13:00 Kaffee Klatch with Bernard Pearson (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
13:00 - 14:00 Kaffee Klatch with Colin Smythe (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
14:00 - 15:00 Kaffee Klatch with Stephen Briggs (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
16:00 - 17:00 Kaffee Klatch with Pete Morwood & Diane Duane (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
17:00 - 18:00 Kaffee Klatch with Terry Pratchett (FOREIGN FANS ONLY) (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
20:00 - 22:00 Live Thud! (Treacle Mines)
Join Vic Wadmore, organiser of WadFest, for a real-life version of the hugely
popular Discworld board game. Dwarf or Troll - which are you?
13:00 - 17:00 Balloon Stall (The Hub)
For a small donation to charity. Our resident balloon-modelling artiste will create
a rhapsody in rubber just for you.
20:00 - 00:00 Playstation Games (The Hub)
Feel tree to join other revellers and make a complete fool of yourself, getting with
it in our interactive Dance Challenge.
Monday 19th August
09:00 - 11:00 Theatre Dress Rehearsal (The Dysk)
Final run-through for those performing in The Sea and Little Fishes later in the
day. Please come in costume, ready to give it your all.
11:00 - 12:00 The Bernard Pearson interview (The Dysk)
Come and listen to Bernard expound on life, modelling and precision painting.
13:00 - 14:00 Theatre Presentation: The Sea and Little Fishes (The Dysk)
Come and see the world premiere of the stage production of The Sea and Little
Fishes featuring a cast of Convention members.
14:00 - 15:00 Charity Auction Part Deux (The Dysk)
Your last chance to buy goodies and thereby contribute to the Convention's
chosen charities.
16:00 - 17:00 Closing Ceremony (The Dysk)
The rousing finale to a fun filled weekend. Come and say goodbye to the guests
and friends old and new, with maybe a surprise or two thrown in. By now you
should know which dessert to bring along.
10:00 - 11:00 The Real-Life Hex (The Cavern)
James Murray tells us about a super-computer run by Leicester University, which
they have christened Hex with Terry's blessing.
11:00 - 12:00 The Wyrdest Link (The Cavern)
Another round of our cut-throat quiz - refer to Item 24.
13:00 - 14:00 Desert Island Discworld (The Cavern)
Not quite the BBC, but then we couldn't afford Sue Lawley. Come and listen to
the musical choices of our castaway Trevor Truman, creator of Thud.
15:00 - 16:00 So You Think You Can Do It Better? (The Cavern)
The 2002 Convention is nearly over. Think you could have done better? Come
and share your ideas/suggestions on what you would have done differently.
19:00 - 00:00 Dead Monkey Party (Sator Square)
With the Closing Ceremony over, we will be following the convention tradition of
having a get together in the bar to wind down.
10:00 - 11:00 Kaffee Klatch with Terry Pratchett (Kaffee Klatch)
For details refer to Item 50.
14:00 - 15:00 Thud Award Ceremony (Koom Valley Lounge)
To the victor the spoils - presenting the award to the surviving winning team of
The International Thud Tournament.
THROUGHOUT THE CONVENTION Film & Video Programme mine (The Odium)
We will be presenting a wide variety of Pratchett-related viewing throughout the
weekend. For full details see the lists displayed in the Hub and at the Odium.
This retrospective was compiled by esmi@lspace.org and is maintained by esmi@lspace.org. Programme published with the assistance of Sarah and Barry Vaughan.